Donald Trump is Regina George
It would be strange if I didn’t grab my phone seconds after waking. Once an attribute of my age group, this radial habit now spans generations. Yesterday, I promised myself I would be mindful today. But in bed this morning, I convinced myself that checking emails and WhatsApp while yawning, recalling my name, and remembering where I laid my head last night is harmless — even productive — and not just deferring the inevitable opening of Instagram.
“It’s made out of paper. Look, I’ve got a little tape here to make it stick better. Then, put that on your ear like this. Press it down, then voila,” —Joe Neglia
Al Jazeera’s latest post about the Republican National Congress delegates was the first I saw. Scene after scene, male and female delegates wore a giant, fake white bandage over their ears. Initially, I thought it was a humorous jibe at the ex-president, referencing the bandage he wore after a 20-year-old man opened fire at his rally in Butler County, Pennsylvania.
Watching Al Jazeera’s Reel, more and more of these bandage-eared individuals appeared — some wound dressings fashioned from a readily available product at the congress: “It’s made out of paper. Look, I’ve got a little tape here to make it stick better. Then, put that on your ear like this. Press it down, then voila,” beamed the enthusiastic Arizona delegate, Joe Neglia.
One by one, they responded to prompts about the person for whom they had all congregated. As they spoke to the camera, I saw the red headpiece that is often ubiquitous in this group — an accompaniment to the ear bandage. The head-piece to the ear-piece. Each person wore the MAGA hat in varied, inventive ways — lopsided with grey hair peeking from the temples, back-to-front with blonde bristles over foreheads — an attempt at individuality within a herd.
“This is a sign of our love for him” — Craig Berland (Arizona Delegate)
Then fond scenes flooded my mind; I saw — or I think I saw — the students of North Shore High School, blithely parading through the school’s corridors wearing vests with symmetrical holes through which their coloured bras protruded, while they rhapsodised about the merciless Regina George.
In Evanston, Illinois, a rage-filled saboteur plotted with her vengeful crew to ruin Regina George for all the pain she had inflicted. As part of their scheme, the saboteur entered the deserted girls’ changing room and surreptitiously cut Regina George’s vest. Wearing just a purple bra, Regina George returned to the changing room and threw on her white vest with the ease and spectacle of someone accustomed to being watched and worshipped. She looked down and noticed the two large holes through which her purple bra protruded, like Barney breaking free. There’s a flash of contemplation—
In this scene, the viewer expects a deluge of hysterics, but Regina George simply shrugs and struts out, then marches through the Red Sea of students, who part and stare, their faces a mix of confusion and gradual realisation. The onlookers, too, defy our expectations; instead of guffaws and ridicule aimed at her, the scene swiftly cuts to the following day: the school corridor teeming with students in an assortment of cut-out tops, a rainbow of peeking undergarments — even the wheelchair-bound student wore one.
Just as Regina George’s maimed vest was an inconvenience that she Inadvertently exploited in a way that perplexed the mere mortal, images of Trump’s blood-splattered face, air-punching and chanting, “Fight! Fight! Fight!” are equally ingenious.
Minutes after media outlets released photographs, articles, and footage of the incident, many were bemused by his lack of self-preservation when, in the midst of the commotion, he was heard asking, “Wait, I want to get my shoes.” The usual protocol of hoisting up and swiftly ushering off those in danger was conspicuously absent.
This morning, the Republican National Congress, filled with men and women with their oversized bandages decorating the right ear, was a blast from the past and made me smile.
Who knew Mean Girls is an allegory — perhaps an augury? Although in high school Regina George was self-possessed, she manoeuvred the identities and internal beliefs of her fellow students, teachers, and parents with ease. She astutely replaced redundant individuals in her circle. These are the characteristics of a devious authoritarian.
In a penultimate scene, precipitated by her many successful schemes — manipulation, deceit, trickery, intimidation, oppression, solicitations, and entrapments — she created the Burn Book, which was unrelenting in fabricating stories and divulging secrets about everyone in the school. She proceeded to disseminate its pages, single-handedly bringing about a riot that enveloped and wrecked the entire structure and foundation of North Shore High School. Exposing secrets, revealing conversations and sharing sensitive information are not unfamiliar to Donald Trump.
Regina George was unlike anyone else; she used her charms for personal gain — if you were attractive and possessed something appealing to her, she emitted a glowing light that attracted and subsumed you. She had absolute control and unwavering followers who saw her as infallible and a vessel through which they could address their inferiority complexes. Their blindness to their own internal machinations rendered them the perfect followers.
